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Sibling abuse that results in psychological and physical injury is grossly underreported because most people in positions of authority such as parents and teachers tend to excuse it as normal sibling rivalry.
"Once there is physical injury or threats of bodily harm, it becomes abuse. However, unlike child abuse by adults or sexual abuse, there are no legal reporting requirements. Hospital staff who learn that a child's black eye was the result of being punched by a sibling tend to dismiss it as normal rather than report it," according to Charles Ewing, Ph.D., a professor of law and adjunct professor of psychology at the University of Buffalo.
Ewing, who also wrote Fatal Families published in 1997, told Psychiatric News, "In normal sibling rivalry, there are petty jealousies, efforts to compete for mom and dad's affection, conflicts over space in the home, bantering, and insults. Usually, there is some give and take, and conflicts eventually get worked out."
Sibling rivalry crosses the line, however, when it is unrelenting and involves pushing, kicking, biting, and shoving. Adults should intervene to prevent further physical and psychological damage, said Ewing. He advised intervening regardless of whether the abuse is reciprocal.
Siblings who abuse each other also tend to be abused by their parents or others in the home. "Their anger or rage is really directed at their parents," observed Ewing. Moreover, sibling rivalry can turn deadly when one brother or sister feels extreme hatred, rage, and jealousy toward a sibling.
"Intense sibling rivalry smolders over time, and then with little provocation the proverbial straw breaks the camel's back," said Ewing.
A recent case in point that received widespread media attention involved a 14-year-old boy, Michael Crowe, in Escondido, Calif. Crowe was charged with murdering his sister Stephanie last January while she slept. Apparently, he harbored intense feelings of envy because his sister was a model student and volunteer, and very popular. Acquaintances were quoted in the media as saying that what may have pushed him over the edge was his sister's attempt to join his circle of friends.
His two friends who are also being charged with Stephanie's murder reportedly told the police they had heard him say, "I would love to kill my sister."
Ewing commented, "Adults who hear statements of violent intent by children need to take them seriously. Children do sometimes mean what they say, and it's better to err on the side of caution."
He added that most teachers and parents are not equipped to judge the seriousness of threats. "It's best to refer the case to a forensic mental health expert," advised Ewing.
Notwithstanding the sensational media reporting of sibling homicides, FBI studies show they made up only about 1 percent of all homicide cases in the last decade, according to Ewing. Moreover, adults commit the majority of "siblicides." The mean age of the perpetrator is 35, and the mean age of the victim is 33.
"Stressful circumstances such as a failed marriage or the loss of a job can bring adult siblings together under the same roof and stir up past rivalry. Intense feelings of competition are replayed over something as trivial as who is going to build a barbecue pit for dad. You know that can't be the reason one brother shoots his sibling, but added to the circumstantial stresses and strain, it has happened," commented Ewing.
Most cases of sibling homicide are committed impulsively often under the influence of alcohol or drugs. A major factor is the ready availability of firearms, stated Ewing. He referred to 1994 FBI data showing that firearms were involved in 63 percent of sibling homicide cases.
Mental illness also played a role in 17 percent of the homicide cases involving siblings, according to a 1994 Department of Justice study of homicides in large urban counties.
Ewing noted that common mental disorders in adult siblings who kill are depression, schizophrenia, and antisocial personality disorder. In juveniles, conduct disorder, antisocial personality traits, and narcissism are more common.